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"He was like, 'Oh, so we have to bring the 'hood out of you, bring the ghetto out of you! "It made me feel like I wasn't enough, who I am wasn't what he expected, and that he wanted me to be somebody else based on my race." Why might our dating preferences feel racist to others?Other dating experts have pointed to such stereotypes and lack of multiracial representation in the media as part of the likely reason that plenty of online daters have had discouraging experiences based on their race."My goal," she wrote, "is to share stories of what it means to be a minority not in the abstract, but in the awkward, exhilarating, exhausting, devastating and occasionally amusing reality that is the pursuit of love." Curtis works in marketing in New York City and says that although she loves how open-minded most people in the city are, she didn't always find that quality in dates she started meeting online.After drinks at a Brooklyn bar, one of her more recent Ok Cupid matches, a white Jewish man, offered this: "He was like, 'Oh, yeah, my family would never approve of you.' " Curtis explains, "Yeah, because I'm black." Curtis describes meeting another white man on Tinder, who brought the weight of damaging racial stereotypes to their date.
Jason is out of the dating game entirely because he ended up finding his current partner, who is white, on an app two years ago.
Similarly, Asian men fell at the bottom of the preference list for most women. "It was like an unfulfilled validation, if that makes sense.